Satire

Patrick Tate Greuling

Senior Comp

Period 3

Satire

There once lived a young girl, who was known as very scrawny and ugly. She lived with 7 friends who went out and worked all day to support the house and all 8 inhabitants. All day the men would leave for work in the local mine and the girl would stay at home to clean, wash the dishes, and make dinner for the men for when they came home. This arrangement worked for several years, until 2008 and the local mine shut down because of the recession and all the people who lived in the house were forced to go else where for money and to live because the mortgage was too high for a meager part time income. The ugly girl was forced out of the house and had to live with her mean grandmother who tried to kill her with rotten apples. Over the next few years the ugly girl became very beautiful and very smart. She left for college and received a master’s degree political science and macro economy. The now beautiful girl worked as she could up the political system until she won the presidential nomination for the Republicans. Her platform was to lower was to fix the economy, get the U.S.A. out of the recession, count down teen pregnancy and obesity so shows like 16 and pregnant and biggest loser weren’t as prevalent. However to win the Presidential election she would need to beat the big bad wolf who huffed and puffed and blew down all of her debate responses. It was just days away from the final election and the debates were getting larger. At the last debate it was asked “why should you become president?” The beautiful girl explained that she wanted to be president so she could have the power to different solution to the problems that have plagued our lands for years. The entire audience was so taken back by how innocent and real the girls answer was that it was clear she had won this debate which would make election a close one. On the night of the election the votes seemed to go up equally for both sides, it wasn’t until the end in which it was a complete tie. However the number of voters was an odd number therefore this was impossible. Going down the call lists looking for anyone who didn’t come into vote, at the very bottom of the list was one voter that didn’t vote. As he came in to the voting center he was attacked by fairy reporters asking which side he was going to vote for. The man walked into the ballot box and in a matter of seconds his single vote was taken to the stage where both parties standing with Ryan Seacrest. The single piece of paper was handed to Mr. Seacrest, he opens it, studies it for a few seconds and goes to speak into the mic. “Is America ready for the winner of the Presidential and winner of American id……I mean presidency?”. “ the winner is…… ME”. Both parties stunned as the results post on the screen and as a write in Ryan Seacrest won as a write vote. Ryan put into affect policies that made the lands of  Ryanland the perfect Eutopia.